The latest in dating tips, trends and the singles scene.
How To Stop Comparing Your New Date To Your Ex
When it comes to keeping your ex off your mind after a breakup, it isn’t easy. You two may have had a great relationship, but things didn’t work out so it’s time to move on! When you’re ready to get back into the dating scene – put a stop to the comparisons. Matchmaker Audra is here to help with her top tips on how to get your ex out of your brain so you can get back to dating.
Cut off all communication: When you’re back in the dating scene, you shouldn’t be in contact with your ex. The more you two talk, the more you’re forced to compare your new beau to your ex. It might be a challenge to hold off from sending a quick text when you’re reminded of them, but don’t give in! Text your BFF instead or walk away from your phone altogether. Communication will keep this relationship alive when all you want is to leave it behind.
Remind yourself why it didn’t work: After a relationship ends, we tend to romanticize it and only remember the good while forgetting about the bad. Take a minute to remember all of the reasons it didn’t work out and write them down. Once you put it on paper, it’ll be easier to see that your ex wasn’t really what you wanted out of a partner to begin with.
Put your focus on you: Get in shape, pick up a hobby, and do things that make you look and feel your best. Focusing on something other than your ex is a great step towards moving on. It will give you the opportunity to have a little “me” time, something that may have gotten lost in the shuffle of your past relationship.
Stop cyberstalking: Unfollow on Instagram, block on Twitter, and delete as a friend on Facebook and Snapchat. Questioning who your ex is in a picture with will do nothing but send you spiraling out of control. You’ll know you fell down the cyberstalking hole once you’ve spent hours on social media trying to track down what your ex has been up to since you two broke up.
Don’t compare feelings: If you aren’t feeling a rush of emotions when you first start dating someone new, stop comparing your feelings! Remember that a first date should feel different from a full on relationship. Feelings of attachment can take time to come to fruition, especially when your attitude isn’t all in.
Date more: One date won’t get you over the past. Make sure you are constantly putting yourself out there. Go somewhere that you never would have gone while you were in a relationship. Whether it be a singles mixer or a friend of a friend’s party, widen your circle to meet new potential dates – and say yes to every opportunity.
Jump back into the dating world with a clean slate! Although it may seem scary to move on completely, this is an exciting new chapter in your life. Your past is no longer a part of your present and dates introduce new opportunities. So, it’s time to push your ex out of your head and enjoy what’s to come!
It's Just Lunch is the world's #1 personalized matchmaking service. Our professional matchmakers provide an enjoyable alternative to online dating. It's personal. It's private. It's convenient. It's real.