Setting Up Expectations For A First Date
Share on
It's so common to have anxiety when it comes to a first date. The problem is, we expect too much from first dates. Many will use their energy trying to impress the other and trying not to "mess up" in front of the other person, rather than being themselves. A first date is nothing to be scared of. You are both there to see if you are compatible, which is why there should be zero expectations when it comes to a first date. Are you going on a date soon? Here are a few tips to make your date smoother:
- Have Realistic Expectations
When you are going on a first date, make sure you always have realistic expectations. Never enter a date with the mindset that "this is one", "this is going to lead to a relationship". Just go, have fun, and be the best version of yourself. It's almost 2020 and gender norms have changed. Don't assume the guy is going to pay. Generally, it's whoever did the inviting, or go 50/50.
- Don't Take Things Too Personally
This is the first date. The person sitting across from you doesn't know who you are. They may say things that may be hurtful, but don't take it personally. This is a reflection of who they are as a person and has nothing to do with you.
- Realize That It May Be Awkward
Whether you are a social butterfly or a little shyer, a first date is an awkward situation for most people. Small talk might be boring so try to find things you can discuss that help you get to know one another. You may even look back on this day and laugh about the awkwardness. You may click right away, or you may totally hate each other. Just go with the flow and have fun.
- Go Somewhere That Gets You Moving
If you have a hard time keeping conversations flowing on first dates, it might be a good idea to plan future dates that are more interactive. Plan dates that get you both on your feet and moving around so you have something else to focus on other than the date itself. This will give you both a chance to breath and have meaningful conversations.
- Explore New Things
Use your first date to do something fun and provide you both with lasting memories, even if it doesn't work out. Choose a karaoke night, comedy show, date night at a local shop to make something, or other fun experiences.
- Set Your Boundaries
Some people think there should be no kissing on the first date. However, this is totally up to you. Do what makes you happy and comfortable.
- Think of Some Conversation Starters
You are both probably a little nervous. Although organic conversation is always best, here are some tips to help your convo flow smoothly- Ask questions. Ask about their favorite things. Avoid politics. Don't lie! (This could haunt you later) Ask about their job. Don't talk negatively about yourself.
As you prepare for your first date, stay calm. It's okay to make mistakes and it might be awkward. But if you focus on being yourself and getting to know the other person, who knows how it could turn out!
